Is it so, that Caroline needs me to stay with Sunni, despite my desire to be with Caroline so she would not require a man that would leave his wife for another love?
I only wish. Caroline would not want someone who would break his bond and oaths to that which he pledged.
She then would risk being subject to the same destructive force that lead here to acquire me.
If presented, would I then be tempted by another desire? I think even just seeing her on the side, behind our spouses backs, is enough to bring the integrity of character into question.
But this situation is unique. She declares me to have always been her "true north" and that upon acquiring me, she likely would never want for another man EVER! She's been struck by me. It would be a return to what was already introduced years ago.
"I could never introduce another man into my life." If not Ben, or myself, then she would rather be alone.
She could not live with the acquisition, if it meant we purposefully destroyed or sabotaged the worlds we have now.
I tend to agree. Creating a vortex of speculation still needs evidence in the now, in action. Saying and doing are two separate things. The difference between knowing the path and walking the path - that's wisdom.
The question still remains. Would Sunni let me see Caroline in the open, as a "soul friend"? But I would want to be alone and act as a soul lover with Caroline. Could I at least get a "coffee date" thumbs up? Then slowly introduce other possibilities? If Sunni sees that I must have "Option C" to be happy, would she agree for the sake of keeping our marriage together? I want to explore this!
It may be my only choice to see Caroline in the semi open. Sun and I may have to talk about it.
Yet, I have an overriding feeling that I should be prepared to just live with the unfulfilled desire I have for Caroline. The flame will burn, but never be used. It's just the shadow of a large star. It's also a truth from the past and into the future, that cannot ever be undone. What is to come of this?
I am capable of so much. I may have to stamp it out! so I may live. I do not want to hurt Caroline again. I do not wish to disappoint. But she may be too disruptive in my soul. I may just have to abandon ship or find a place where we can disembark. But then go back to our separate ways.
...Oh my heart...
But I will do it if necessary. If I simply cannot live with not having her her. I will be rid of her and just hopefully be able to constructively cope with a piece of me missing forever.
Destructive love is impossible.
Annexed/Accepted love is far reaching, but possible, yet still potentially very destructive. But at least it's within the paradigms of consent and therefore has within it a high degree of reparative possibilities.
"So long as we're together, let's fix this mistake!" Holding to our commitment to each other still. She's more likely to work through it, so long as we're together in the fight.
Set apart. A secret affair! I'd rather not. But I do know, that I WILL have to see her. If none of these options come available, then I will have to squash or put aside my desire and hopefully be able to cope with out a piece of me. Let's see!
I only wish. Caroline would not want someone who would break his bond and oaths to that which he pledged.
She then would risk being subject to the same destructive force that lead here to acquire me.
If presented, would I then be tempted by another desire? I think even just seeing her on the side, behind our spouses backs, is enough to bring the integrity of character into question.
But this situation is unique. She declares me to have always been her "true north" and that upon acquiring me, she likely would never want for another man EVER! She's been struck by me. It would be a return to what was already introduced years ago.
"I could never introduce another man into my life." If not Ben, or myself, then she would rather be alone.
She could not live with the acquisition, if it meant we purposefully destroyed or sabotaged the worlds we have now.
I tend to agree. Creating a vortex of speculation still needs evidence in the now, in action. Saying and doing are two separate things. The difference between knowing the path and walking the path - that's wisdom.
The question still remains. Would Sunni let me see Caroline in the open, as a "soul friend"? But I would want to be alone and act as a soul lover with Caroline. Could I at least get a "coffee date" thumbs up? Then slowly introduce other possibilities? If Sunni sees that I must have "Option C" to be happy, would she agree for the sake of keeping our marriage together? I want to explore this!
It may be my only choice to see Caroline in the semi open. Sun and I may have to talk about it.
Yet, I have an overriding feeling that I should be prepared to just live with the unfulfilled desire I have for Caroline. The flame will burn, but never be used. It's just the shadow of a large star. It's also a truth from the past and into the future, that cannot ever be undone. What is to come of this?
I am capable of so much. I may have to stamp it out! so I may live. I do not want to hurt Caroline again. I do not wish to disappoint. But she may be too disruptive in my soul. I may just have to abandon ship or find a place where we can disembark. But then go back to our separate ways.
...Oh my heart...
But I will do it if necessary. If I simply cannot live with not having her her. I will be rid of her and just hopefully be able to constructively cope with a piece of me missing forever.
Destructive love is impossible.
Annexed/Accepted love is far reaching, but possible, yet still potentially very destructive. But at least it's within the paradigms of consent and therefore has within it a high degree of reparative possibilities.
"So long as we're together, let's fix this mistake!" Holding to our commitment to each other still. She's more likely to work through it, so long as we're together in the fight.
Set apart. A secret affair! I'd rather not. But I do know, that I WILL have to see her. If none of these options come available, then I will have to squash or put aside my desire and hopefully be able to cope with out a piece of me. Let's see!